Relationship Tips | Reddit Relationship Advice


Relationship Tips
Relationship gift

  Three main steps for her for a long-term relationship.  The first stage is the "honeymoon" stage.  So everything is lovely and cool.  Connecting with all the things that feel similar to us.  Enthusiastic to love the same song, the same color, to love the same shared hobbies.  We pay attention to every detail and enjoy every moment together and see everything as a sign that "we are made for each other".  The interpretation we give to every detail is positive in principle.  The differences that we recognize in the other also evoke positive emotions.  We see in the differences that we have built a "magic" of completion.  Another reinforcement that it is a "heavenly couple".  I am scattered and he is ordered, I am floating and she is with both feet on the ground, I am a wasteful and he knows how to save. 

Relationship Tips
Relationship Tips

 A positive interpretation from a place of wanting to live together and form a family.  Strive to close existing gaps.  Reconcile, give up, strive for understanding and cooperation out of desire.  Because nice and good for us.  The second stage is the "commitment" stage.  This is the stage of deepening the connection.  Realize the relationship.  Divide life into practice.  Take out a mortgage, put a child in a relationship, deal with a routine, with difficulties to earn a living, work, families of origin.  At this point, the relationship goes through many ups and downs.  Fantasy becomes reality.  It is more difficult to give a positive interpretation to the differences that we have built after an exhausting day of work.  Trying to "swallow all the worlds".  The relationship at this stage, especially in the modern world, suffers from an impossible situation in which the couple expects her to satisfy all their needs: personal fulfillment, housework, feeling loved, coveted, supported, good parents raising successful children, honoring  to the parents.  , vacations, reasonable financial situation and so on.  '.  At this point, a relationship becomes a reality.  This reality is the day-to-day habits of the couple within the relationship (as grandmothers say: "The first thing that throws the garbage the day after the wedding is the one that throws the garbage all his life").  Each couple is determined by the division of roles, the way the families of origin are treated (Rosh Hashanah with your mother and Pesach with my mother, etc.), income management versus expenses, couple communication, etc.  At this stage the differences between the spouses are more difficult to digest and are given a different interpretation from the initial stage.  Suddenly, his "savings" is actually "stinginess", and his "extravagance" is "lack of appreciation for money" as with her mother ... for example.  The "silence in silence" that so fascinated the most talkative spouse, becomes "unbearable opacity" and ... "you don't understand me."  At this point the couple is trying to "fix" each other to behave as they see fit.  These repeated attempts provoke controversy and squabbles and build-up of anger, but here's the easy part.  Natural, true and good for fighting and getting angry from time to time.  Of course, you must do this with proper communication and adhere to agreed boundaries, such as no swearing.  Here too each relationship has its own reality.  The actual reality in which the couple behaves (if throughout the relationship when one of the parties is angry, expresses the anger by raising their voice and the other party responds with a thunderous silence, then this is the marital reality) But  As mentioned, this is an easy and acceptable situation.  The real problem arises in the next stage of the relationship.  The third stage.  Stage "Emerging fuses".  At this point, the relationship suffers a situation in which the couple cannot bear.  Every little dispute turns into a situation where you want to strangle the other.  Think of the situation in terms of "this is not the life I planned to live."  Bring up the topic of divorce and separation.  Betrayals or thoughts of betrayal appear.  You want the energies of yesteryear again, the excitement.  At this stage of the relationship, all the ills in our life are seen as the fault of the spouse.  The reason for this is very human.  It is very difficult for us to identify traits and behaviors in ourselves that we consider undesirable, inferior, shameful, worthy of contempt.  It is much easier for us to recognize them in others and cultivate our ego.  It is simpler and easier to blame the person closest to us, in all possible problems, instead of taking responsibility for our part in the situation.  (Here's a tip for understanding your current marital status: try to find out for yourself, honestly, where you "tipped" your spouse to behave as "right" in your eyes, based on what you saw at home.  His parents).  If we understand that "the disqualified in Momo disqualifies", it will be easier for us to assume mature responsibility and take our relationship to where we would like it to be.  

Relationship Tips
Love gift

 Marital reality depends on our will, our perception of reality and the mental fixation in which we find ourselves.  Our brain organizes and determines the rules of the game according to what seems correct to it.  Which makes sense.  But it is possible to be flexible and change the fixation for what is "right" and what is "wrong", it all depends on the will.  Our perception of reality is what will determine how our spouses will react to us.  From them we obtain the reflection of what we transmit.  We will convey positivity, surrender, goodwill and a smile and that is what we will get.


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